john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
