I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
