He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize