And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
4 words: hood of his car
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
