yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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