i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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