Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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