I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
