is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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