Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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