Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
