He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
