i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
