You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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