OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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