who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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