Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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