3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
