so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
