it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
