HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
