As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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