Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
