we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
