It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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