I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
