Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
