so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
