sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize