I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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