Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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