Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
