if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
