Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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