This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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