Already got asked if we're dating
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
