Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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