Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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