Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
