Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
