Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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