me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
