hotel room ftw
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
