Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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