As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
