I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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