I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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