The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You took a bar mat shot.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Boobs are out for the taking
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
