there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
