Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am available for nakedness
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
