he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
