I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
