So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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