Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
