I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
