According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
