omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
