so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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