when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
