did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it penis luge time yet?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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