Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
