i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize