It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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