He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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