True but thats because hes a fetus.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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