Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
