her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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