they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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