Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
