Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
